When she died I thought to myself, "I'll see her again soon. It's just like she's on a little vacation." Well as the days go by I am realizing that "soon" is a really long time. As time passes, she is becoming farther and farther from me.
I don't want to forget her. I don't want to ever be okay that she is gone. I don't want my kids to forget her even though they will. I want to always have very clear memories that I can share with them.
I am going to try to record the last memories I had of her so that I won't forget.
One year ago on April 19, 2008 (saturday) my brother Adam had a benefit concert to make money for his upcoming internship in Peru. We all wanted to support him as a family and attend his concert. Brett couldn't make it because he had something for work. I got a babysitter and my mom invited me to drive with her and my dad. I met them at their house in Draper and we loaded in the Lexus to meet my sisters and their husbands at the Thaiphoon Restaurant at Gateway.
When we arrived at Gateway my mom asked my dad to drop us off at the front because she was so out of breath lately. I didn't think much of it. We took the escalator instead of the stairs because she knew she wouldn't be able to make it up the stairs. Again, I thought to myself, "She needs to get in shape. She is always so out of breath."
We had a nice dinner. My mom had whispered that I'd be paying for myself, which I didn't mind because my mom would ALWAYS try to pay for me on the sly. This time she allowed me to pay for myself. I ordered something with the dried red peppers in it because I bit into one and it burned my lips like crazy. I couldn't finish my dinner. My mouth was on fire. My mom kept telling me to drink water. Or put ice on it. She felt bad. It was ok.
After dinner Dawn, Aaron, Jenn, Scott, and I decided to walk over to the Addicted Cafe instead of drive. It was a nice night and we had all eaten too much. Mom needed to drive over. We met them there.
We sat and had a very enjoyable time. Mom seemed fine. We were all out of our element because we were amongst local musicians and a few strange people. But Mom was proud of Adam and that is what our family does; we support each other no matter what.
I wish I could get this picture bigger. It is a great picture of mom. That's my mom how I will always remember her.
We had no idea what was about to hit our family. Maybe Mom did in the back of her mind, but the rest of us were happy and content.