I woke up at 6 am to go running with my friends. I finished the run, walked Kadee home and was walking toward my house when I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude come over me. It was Spring, it was a beautiful morning. I was finally settled in a neighborhood that I loved. And that even sounds like an understatement. I was finally settled. (after 9 moves this was huge) I had lost the weight that I had set out to lose. I had just run 3 miles. I had 3 beautiful children and a great husband sleeping at home. I was so blessed.
I remember praying out loud and thanking my Heavenly Father for all he had blessed me with. I began to cry and I even said, "Don't give me a trial yet. My life is so wonderful right now. I am so blessed." (note to self...NEVER say that again)
I got home and went about my day as usual. I blogged an unusual blog for what was about to happen. I tidied my house. I got my kids ready for the day, etc., etc..
At 10 am I got a phone call from Dawn. Apparently I had missed a few of her phone calls because she asked me where I had been. Dawn was filling in for my mom at Aspen Ridge Dental (my mom worked for my sister Dawn's husband at their dental practice) because my mom had finally gone to the doctor to see what was the problem.
My mom woke up and was making her bed when she finally gave in, asked my dad for a Priesthood blessing and then asked him to take her to Insta Care.
By the time Dawn had called me my mom had already had x-rays taken of her chest revealing all the masses. Insta Care told her it was probably pnemonia but sent her to the hospital to be sure. I was relieved that it was just pnemonia and went about my day. I did keep my phone close but didn't receive much info the rest of the afternoon.
Evening came and I took the phone and the kids across the street to visit with my neighbors Jason and Misti. While I was chatting with them the phone rang. I left my kids there and went back to my house to talk to Jenn (my oldest sister. getting a call from her meant that something was wrong)
I answered and she proceeded to tell me that they found a few more masses on her neck and under her arm. They concluded that it was some kind of cancer that had spread. It wasn't lung cancer but it had spread to her lungs. She was to go in tomorrow for a biopsy of the mass in her neck.
I sobbed. I was hopeful but I sobbed. Brett pulled up at that moment and I sobbed in his arms. Jason and Misti kept the kids. I talked to Brett and then stared out the window for what seemed like forever.
The table was set, dinner was on the stove (George's Spaghetti--a Dorius fav) but time stopped. I always knew my mom would die early. Her mom died at 69 and I thought that would most likely happen to my mom. She was overweight for most of her life. She had blood clots in her legs. She just wasn't in the best health. But I NEVER thought she'd have cancer. I never thought she'd die at 59. I stared out the window and thought to myself "what will my life be like with out her?, how will I go on?, what will happen?"
And I must admit, I knew she would die and I knew it would be fast. I don't know if the Lord was preparing me or what but I knew. That is why this day was so hard. I sat and watched the next few months pass by me and I knew what was about to happen.
Sure I prayed to be wrong. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed and prayed and prayed. My mom was sure she'd get a miracle and I wanted to have that kind of faith. She had so much faith. I always admired that about her.
I called my friend Kami to tell her that I wouldn't be going out with her that night. Kami was my first best friend. And we became friends because our moms were best friends. Debbie is my mom's best friend. I told Kami to inform Debbie and I cried a lot.
Jenn had told me not to call my mom because she was a little distraught. I wanted to call her. Any other day I would have called her. She was always the first person I called when something bad happened. This was the first time I had to deal with a problem on my own. I didn't like it one bit. (and I still don't like it:( )
So there you have it. This is the day my life changed dramatically. This is the day I woke up so grateful and happy and went to bed scared to death. What a day....